Erma Bombeck Quotes

Erma Bombeck Quotes.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a

There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
Erma Bombeck
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Erma Bombeck
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck
Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
Erma Bombeck
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
Erma Bombeck
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to ar

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
Erma Bombeck
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It’s gossip.
Erma Bombeck
What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck