Erma Bombeck Quotes.
There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It’s gossip.
What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?